Marketing: it's not brain surgery. Or is it?

The fundamental purpose of marketing is to change people's minds. When you do that, you literally rewire the synapses inside their brains.

Okay, you don't use a scalpel or a laser, but you use something just a powerful: an idea. Only a few of us will go under the knife for brain surgery, but all of us have been rewired by the doctors of Madison Avenue and their esteemed colleagues in the media.

Do you feel thirsty when you see the Coke logo? Do you drive a little faster when the Porsche passes you? Do you fight the urge to say "super size me"?

Who put THAT stuff in your head?

Labels: ggcb, marketing

In 1952, Dr. Virginia Apgar invented the "Apgar Test" to evaluate the health of new born babies. Until then, doctors assumed that new-borns were in good health and sent them off the nurseries, where many died.

Dr. Apgar's test, which is free and easy to perform, measures five characteristics, which another doctor turned into a mnemonic that spells her name (Appearance, Pulse, Grimace, Activity, Respiration). It's estimated that tens of thousands of babies' lives are saved each year because doctors apply the test all over the world.

I am pleased to report that I have developed a similar test that you can apply to your shiny new website to see if it will survive in the cold cruel world of the web. I call it CIGAR:

• Content. Is there anything of value in your site?
• Interesting. Is there anything interesting -- to somebody other than you and your mother -- in your site?
• Grabby. What's in your site that will "grab" people and get them to come back for more?
• Attractive. Is your site easy and fun to look at, well designed without too much text on each page and plenty of pictures?
• Relevant. Is your site relevant to its target audience?

In other words, if you can't answer the question why somebody would hit your site, well, NO CIGAR.

Labels: apgar, CIGAR, ggcb, marketing, website design

In his book, The Last Campaign: Robert F. Kennedy and the 82 Days that Inspired America, Thurston Clarke makes an astonishing claim. He contends that, when Bobby was killed in California, there was dismay, horror and disappointment among those traveling with him. But, he says, no one -- not even Kennedy himself -- was surprised. Everyone, including RFK, expected that he would be shot before the campaign ended.

One of the key arguments of the book is that, despite that expectation, Kennedy campaigned fearlessly -- reaching out to sometimes unruly crowds, riding in open convertibles, and shunning the cautious warnings of his closest advisers. Whether you consider that foolishness or courage is beside the point.

In his brief campaign, Kennedy catapulted to a front-running position, pressing his points, winning over supporters, and inspiring the country. Dangerous, but effective work.

Kennedy's tragically short campaign is a reminder of what we can do if we believe in our message and if we're not afraid to say so.

Labels: fear, ggcb, kennedy, marketing

Whenever I'm feeling a little down, I just go light-tackle fishing for bluegill. I march down to my favorite fishing spot (see above), tie a cheap fly to the end of my line, and cast the little lure under an overhanging tree branch.

Splash! In a few minutes, a nice fat bluegill is fighting for all he's worth at the end of my line. On my delicate rod, he feels like a tarpon. It's very satisfying. After a short battle, I release him so he can fight again another day.

And there will be another day. Bluegill are dumb. They have no memories. In a week, he'll glup down the very same fly, hook and all.

I am amazed by the marketers who are still bluegill fishing. They serve up the same old message, event, promotion, sale, product or service and they expect customers to bite -- just like they did in the old days. And some do still bite, of course, convincing the marketers that they are right.

But they are not. Gradually, the sales revenues get smaller. Market share narrows. Competitors strengthen.

Customers are not bluegill. They learn. They remember. And they choose more tempting bait.

Labels: bluegill, fishing, ggcb, marketing

It was every bicyclist's nightmare: you're riding blissfully along out in the country and...the crank that holds your pedal snaps. Bad luck.

It's especially bad luck if you're in the middle of West Virginia mountains and there isn't even cellphone service. It's even worse if you're just 50 miles into a 250-mile bike ride. That was my story last weekend.

My riding partners shook their heads and made jokes about a one-legged man in a butt kicking contest. I figured I was done, but I one-pedaled along for a couple miles until I got to the only house on the road.

Then, suddenly, my luck changed.

The homeowner, Dorman Parker, smiled and said, "I think we can get you back on the road."

He ushered me into his garage, where he drilled a new hole in the crank below where it had broken. He tapped threads into the hole. And, because my fancy racing pedal wouldn't screw into them, he took an old pedal off his son's bike and -- presto! -- I was back on the road.

Of course, I had two different pedals and the cranks were different lengths, so I couldn't stand and pedal. But thanks to Dorman's kindness to a perfect stranger, I finished the last 200 miles (including 100 in the dark).

Dorman taught me a lesson that day: a little generosity, ingenuity and perseverance can make all the difference. Don't give up too easily!

Labels: bicycle, ggcb

In 1971, I joined the staff of The Wall Street Journal in Detroit. General Motors was the biggest company in the world. Gasoline on Woodward Avenue cost 25 cents a gallon. And, at a lunch with the head of Buick Division, he sniffed at the comparatively tiny import cars and declared proudly that, "When a American passes you on the road, it takes a long time for him to go by."

That arrogance vanished rapidly when the first energy crisis depressed sales of his hulking Electra 225s and boosted sales of the venerable Beetle. But few realized that was the first major crack in the clay feet of the Detroit giants.

Now, almost four decades later, Chrysler is bankrupt and GM is facing a similar fate. It has taken a long time for the Detroit iron to go by.

Labels: Buick, GM, marketing

It's no accident that the seats at The Grand Ole Opry look like church pews. If you look around the audience at a performance, you see the reverence that the Opry inspires. When it comes to country music, this is High Church.

Although the crowd is unmistakeably gray, many are just kids when it comes to the performers at the 80-year-old institution. There are plenty of wrinkles on the stage under the makeup. As the performers march across the stage to do a number or two, some would seem to be as comfortable with a cane as a guitar.

Yet the energy is unmistakable. The singers bring an inner spark that ignites each song, even though they have done it hundreds, perhaps thousands, of times. It's captivating, especially for the awestruck audience.

The entertainment industry has always demonstrated, and The Grand Ole Opry proves, a principle that we too often forget. Performance isn't about age -- it's about energy. If you think you're too old to do your thing, think again.

Labels: aging, energy, Grand Ole Opry, marketing